


Blue Christmas Without You

by StormyBear30



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:30:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim's all alone on Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Christmas Without You

“Jared…if you don’t leave in five minutes you are going to miss your flight” Jared heard his assistant warn as he held his phone to his ear, watching a lone figure looking out the front window of his home.

“I highly doubt that Brent is going to leave without me…he owns the fucking plane” Jared replied with an edge to his voice, torn between what he should have been doing and what he felt he had to do.

“He may own the plane Jared…but he doesn’t own the airport and the plane is cleared for take off in thirty minutes. If you catch a cab now you’d be lucky to just get there”

“Tim’s here”

“Jared” A warning to her voice, because she knew the extent of the plans that Brent had planned as a surprise for Jared. “Brent went to a lot of trouble to plan this trip for the two of you. I know that Tim is probably upset and hurt about what happened…but I am sure that he will understand that you have plans for the holidays”

“I can’t just leave him here. He has no place to go…no one to spend it with” He said, already knowing that his mind had been made up. “Call Brent and tell him that I can’t make it and that I promise to make it up to him soon” He didn’t give her a chance to reply before he ended his call, clearing his throat as he walked into the living room. “My plans for Christmas have been cancelled” He lied, ignoring his phone that too that exact minute to ring. He knew who it was without even checking as he placed the ringer on silent and walked up to the silent man. “Looks like it’s just you and me buddy” He patted Tim on the shoulder, smiling at the clearly distraught man.

“Jared…you were just in the hallway. I heard everything you said” Tim said, turning to face his friend. “You don’t have to cancel your plans for me. I can just get a hotel or something” He tried to leave, a hand on his arm stopping him.

“You will do no such thing. Sit your ass down” He pointed at a nearby chair. “You’re staying here and that’s final. You and I can have our own Christmas. Even though it doesn’t look very Christmassy around here now does it?”

“I don’t give a shit. This is a completely fucked up Christmas anyways” Tim pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I just want to get totally shit faced and then sleep through this entire fucked up holiday”

“That’s a great idea” Jared piped up. “Well not the whole getting shitfaced part…but the sleeping part. Why don’t you go a take a nap and I am sure once you get up you will start to feel a whole lot better”

“Doubtful” Tim replied sullenly, getting up just the same and trudging into the spare bedroom he had been staying in for the previous few days.

“Not if I have anything to do with it” Jared smiled after him, clapping his hands together as he put his newly formed plan into motion.

When Tim woke up a couple of hours later, he felt anything but better. In fact he felt worse as he trudged down the hallway and into the kitchen looking for his first of many beers for that night. The house was silent and he wondered briefly where Jared was, deciding that he liked the idea of being alone better before walking into the living room, the bottle halfway to his lips as he stood there in shock. “Do you like it?” He heard Jared say from the other side of the fully decorated room.

“Wow…you must have worked your ass off. How long was I out?” Tim asked, ignoring Jared’s question as he walked deeper into the room, taking in all the Christmas decorations surrounding them.

“About four hours” Jared replied as he fell down heavily upon the couch. “I didn’t realize that Shannon and I had so much shit. We usually go home or away for the holidays so we never decorate anymore. It’s kind of nice to have it all out again…brings back lots of memories” He smiled, patting the space next to him. “So…” He said when Tim sat down next to him. “Anything special you want to do tonight?”

“Already started” Tim held up his beer bottle, downing the rest of it before attempting to get up and retrieve another.

“Pace your self” Jared stopped him, turning to face him fully. “How about I make us something to eat and then we can just hang out…watch a movie…eat some popcorn”

“Get shitfaced” Tim added, not deterred by Jared at all.

“Fine…get shitfaced” Jared relented, knowing that Tim was hurt and needed to vent and release.

“I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you this drunk” Tim slurred with a smile as he watched Jared dancing clumsily to some strange Christmas music playing in the background several hours later.

“Well take it all in baby because you won’t see it again” Jared smiled back as he reached out and tried to pull Tim onto the floor with him. “Come on Timmy boy…dance with me” He pretend pouted when he was thwarted.

“Not that drunk yet” Tim giggled, watching as Jared tripped over his feet and almost fell to the floor. He had to admit that he was having a better time then he had expected as he walked into the kitchen and removed two more beers from the fridge. “No…” He squealed when he entered the room again, Jared wrapping his arms tightly around him, wiggling his body back and forth as he tried to get him to move along with him. “I don’t dance” He giggled, taking a long draw from his beer, still not moving, but knowing that he was going to give up the fight anyways at the tightening of Jared’s hold around his body. “You asked for it” He laughed, wiggling his ass, his arms up in the air as he continued to hold the two bottles of beer.

“I knew you couldn’t resist the call of the music” Jared laughed along with him, snagging one of the bottles as the two of them continued to dance crazily. “Now tell me that this isn’t the most fun you’ve ever had in your life” He joked, trying to boast Tim’s spirits even more, realizing how short he had fallen when Tim stopped dancing, sitting down in front of the Christmas tree, beer still in hand. “Tim?”

“Why did she have to break up with me two days before Christmas?” He questioned no one in particular, staring into the blinking lights of the tree in front of him.

“I don’t know” Jared responded, his heart heavy over the apparent pain his friend was in.

“You know I didn’t even have a clue that there was a problem” Tim went on, ignoring the man sitting beside him as he continued to gaze into the lights. “I was totally blown away when I came home and found her packing her shit” He wiped his eyes quickly, coughing a bit in order to hide his shame. “She told me that she was unhappy and had been for a long time”

“Tim…”

“I asked her how long she was unhappy and she told me for over a year” Tim continued, feeling the need to let his pain out. “She was unhappy with me for over a year and not once did I ever have a clue. Can you imagine how miserable she must have had to be with someone that was making her unhappy for over a year?”

There was silence for several minutes. “Well the truth is Tim…you were touring with us for most of it”

“True…” Tim replied, starting to giggle and not knowing why.

“Tim…” Jared said his name softly, lying his hand upon his shoulder because he knew laughter was not what he should have been hearing. As excepted Tim burst into tears, turning around and grabbing onto Jared as if for dear life.

“I have no one now” Tim sobbed, clutching at Jared’s back in his drunken and heartbroken state. “She was all I had here and now I have no one”

“What do you mean you have no one?” Jared asked, trying to conceal his hurt. “You have Tomo and Shannon…you have me. You’re not only part of this band you ass…but you are also part of this family. I can’t believe that you don’t know this by now” He knew he had failed, by the look on Tim’s face. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said it like that” He apologized. “What I meant to say is that you are part of this family and I and the boys will always be here for you…no matter what” Reaching out, Jared wiped the tears off of the silent mans face, the moment becoming thick with tension. “How about something a bit stronger then beer” He called out over his shoulder as he ran into the kitchen. “Get a hold of your self man” He scolded himself, taking several deep breaths because the urge to kiss Tim in that moment had been great. He knew that it would have been a bad idea in that he knew Tim was hurting over his break up, but also in the fact that he knew that Tim was straight as a pin. Taking another deep breath, he grabbed two glassed from the cabinet, searching out Shannon’s not so secret stash of Jim Beam before returning to the room.

“Sorry about earlier” Tim said as Jared once again sat down beside him, handing him a half full glass of amber looking liquid.

“No worries…I’ll only hold it over your head when you really…really piss me off” He laughed, clinking glasses with Tim before taking a huge swallow. “Fuck…” He cried out when the heavy liquid burned its way down his throat, causing him to choke and sputter. “Smooth” He coughed between his laughter, causing Tim to crack up as well.

“Lightweight” Tim chuckled, patting Jared on the back as he took a slug of his own glass. “Don’t worry…I’ll only use it against you when you really…really…really piss me off” Laughter echoed around the house as the two of them drank themselves into oblivion. “Jared…” Tim broke the silence between them hours later as they laid side by side in front of the Christmas tree, both of them quite drunk and feeling no pain.

“Hmmm…” Was his reply as he played with the empty bottle in front of him.

“What’s the real reason for you not going with Brent tonight?” Tim slurred, knowing somewhere deep down he was probably pushing his luck, but too drunk to really care.

“You needed me”

“Yes…that part we know. What is the other reason…because face it Letod…no matter how badly you felt about what happened to me if you really wanted to go with Brent you would have gone” He waited for any sort of an outburst, but got none as Jared pushed the bottle into the middle of the room, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again.

“He wants to make us official” He responded, closing his eyes once again because he knew Tim’s quarry was about to continue.

“I don’t understand…aren’t you official now? I mean you’ve been dating him off and on since I started this band and from what the boys say even longer then that”

“Yeah…and that’s the problem. We’ve been officially on and off for too many years to remember. In the beginning it was great…but then both of our careers started to take off and then everything just changed. We had to be more careful…had to play the Hollywood game in order to cover who we were and what we felt for each other. It was fine at first…but then I started to get older and I realized that none of it really mattered anymore. I was tired of hiding who I was and who I loved and I wanted to come out about us” Jared stopped, looking up into the tree as sadness over took him.

“He didn’t” Tim finished for Jared, seeing how he seemed to be struggling with the words.

“No…he didn’t” He repeated. “In fact when he was questioned about our relationship as being more then friends…he totally denied me. Someone saw us at a club one night and we were both totally bombed, kissing and grouping each other all over the dance floor. I’m not sure who leaked it…doesn’t really matter…but I wanted to come clean about it and he didn’t. It was right after then that he didn’t want to be exclusive anymore. He wanted to date other people…women…so he could keep up the façade. I went along with it for a long time…but I can’t go along with it anymore”

“Do you still love him?”

“I don’t know what I feel for Brent anymore. Some days I feel as if I do and yet most days I feel as if I am going through the motions. I just happened to hear him talking to Shannon one day a few weeks ago about how much he loved me and realized his mistake and that he wanted to make it up to me. So the two of them along with my assistant devised this weekend to surprise me…but I guess I ended up surprising them instead huh?”

“Seems so”

“I just want to be with a man that isn’t afraid to be with me. I just want someone that won’t deny that they love me and aren’t afraid of the consequences. But…I live in the real world and I know that this person probably doesn’t exist” Jared sighed, leaning into Tim when an arm was wrapped around his shoulder. “Sorry…probably shouldn’t have put all of that on you”

“I don’t mind Jared” Tim replied softly, slowly turning to face him.

“You don’t?” Jared asked, finding himself getting lost in a set of soft blue eyes.

“No…” Was all Tim could say before he leaned forward and kissed Jared. The kiss was hesitant at first, but then moved forward into an explosive kiss that shocked both men as they jerked quickly apart. “Shit…sorry about that” Tim stammered, sobering up quickly at what he had just done.

“You’ve kissed a man before” Jared blurted out, still shocked and stunned that Tim had kissed him and had kissed him good.

“Of course I’ve kissed a man before” Tim quirked an eye at him as if it was the dumbest question in the world.

“I thought you were straight and we shouldn’t be doing this…but…oh…fuck I want to do that again…but we shouldn’t and…” Jared rambled, not really knowing what he was trying to say and not caring as Tim lunged forward and kissed him once again. “We’re going to regret this in the morning” He panted between kisses that left no doubt that druken sex was coming next.

“Then lets worry about it in the morning” Tim responded roughly, hand ripping over Jared’s button up shirt before attaching his lips to the exposed nipple. Before he knew what was happening his own shirt was being destroyed, leading up to so much more.

“Son of a bitch…never in a million years would I expect to FIND THIS UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE” Shannon’s voice grew louder as he entered his brothers home with his spare key and found said brother and band mate wrapped up in each other, naked as the day they were born.

“Shannon…” Tomo giggled as the two men stirred a bit, but not waking up by any means. “Be nice”

“Be nice. He’s supposed to be with Brent this weekend. Brent was going to ask him to marry him and we find him here…naked and under the tree with Tim. I mean…what the fuck. Tim…he’s fucking fucked Tim”

“Well more likely that Tim’s fucked Jared” He snickered, looking at the condom still covering Tim’s private area. “Maybe we should cover them up or something” He put his hands up in surrender at the smoldering look of annoyance he received from his boyfriend.

“Or Something for sure” Shannon replied. “WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU TWO” He yelled loudly, stamping his feet on the wooden floor. “Well good morning you two” He sneered as he watched Jared and Tim come to life, or half life as they both seemed to look like death warmed over.

“Shit…fuck…my head” Jared whined, his entire body aching as he sat up, hiding his face in his hands in order to curb the pounding in his head.

“Well I can’t imagine why your head hurts or why you did the completely fucked up thing that you did” Shannon growled, holding up the empty Jim Beam bottle, kicking at one of the many empty beer bottles littering the floor. “Had a nice little party last night didn’t you? Cat got your tongue?” He glared at Tim, who sat curled up in a ball next to Jared, not speaking a word.

“Leave him alone Shan” Jared spoke slowly, truly trying not to speak to loudly, much less breath because it only seemed to make things worse.

“I’m going to go back to my place” Tim ignored Shannon, turning to look at Jared as he searched for his missing clothes.

“Are you sure?” Jared asked, hating that Tim was leaving, but knowing that it was probably a good thing since he knew he had a confrontation with Shannon on the horizon and he had to deal with his confusion as to what had happened between the two of them.

“Yeah…call you later though” Tim got up, feelings awkward because he didn’t know what he should do. “Um…yeah…ok…later” He fumbled with his words, leaving quickly at the pissed off looks of anger Shannon was shooting his way. “Fuck…” He sighed, leaning against the front door once it had closed after him.

“You know this has to be illegal” A man whispered towards his counterpart as they sat perched up on the wall peering into the front lawn of actor and singer Jared Leto.

“I’m not on his property” The man beside him defended. “This wall belongs to the city and it’s not considered illegal if I am on city property. “Besides…I am determined to get some dirt on Leto…no matter what” The man replied, smiling evilly because it had become his mission in life to take as many photo’s of the always elusive entertainer. It wasn’t even a matter of the money anymore, despite the fact that photos of Jared were rare and big bucks were paid for them, but it was a matter of revenge. Several years prior the man had been nearly beaten to death when he had taken some pictures of Jared and his rumored boyfriend at the time, Brent Bolthouse. He had found them at a club, kissing and grouping each other on the dance floor. He had only managed to get one halfway decent photos before he was kicked out of the club. He had made quite a bit of money on that picture when they were posted in magazines and all over the web a few days later and he was ecstatic. However, his happiness didn’t last long as a week later he was visited by some very burly looking men, beaten within an inch of his life, his camera equipment destroyed before he was left for dead in his own home.

“You have no proof that Leto had anything to do with that and you know it. The rumor is that it was strictly Bolthouse that hired those men to beat you up”

“I don’t give a fuck about the rumors. I am going to get my dirt and my revenge and Leto is going to be the one that pays for it” He laughed, drawing his attention back towards the silent home. “Now now…what is this” He smiled evilly, preparing his camera as he watched a younger man step out of Leto’s home, shirt ripped into shreds and a look of regret on his face. “Looks like someone is doing the walk of shame” He giggled under his breath, focusing his camera as he began to take several pictures of the unidentified man stumbling towards his car. “Paybacks a bitch Leto”

“So is he talking to you yet?” Tim asked Jared as he lounged on his bed later that evening, the same bed he had been sulking in since he had gotten home that morning.

“No…in fact he and Tomo stormed out pretty much after you left” Jared sighed, knowing that it was going to be a fucked up Christmas for sure. “Brent’s called me half a dozen times to tell me how unhappy and disappointed he is”

“I’m sorry Jared…for everything”

“No reason to feel sorry and the fact of that matter is that I don’t regret one minute of it”

“You don’t?” Tim asked, astonished.

“No…do you?” Jared asked shyly, knowing that he shouldn’t have asked because of the situation with Tim and his ex-girlfriend.

“I thought that I would…but I don’t” The bassist answered honestly. “I mean I should be depressed and upset over the fact that my long time girlfriend dumped me…but honestly I could really care less at this point. All I keep thinking about is…” He hesitated because he was afraid to speak any further.

“All you keep thinking about is what?” Jared held his breath as he waited for Tim to respond.

“All I keep thinking about is…” He went to finish his sentence, a loud commotion forcing him to stop.

“Holy shit…” Jared cried out, nearly dropping the phone as Shannon thrust a paper in front of him.

“Jared…what’s wrong? Jared…what the fuck?” Tim tried to get the singers attention, but could only hear muffled and loud words of which he was pretty sure they belonged to Shannon. “Jared…talk to me”

“Leave him the fuck alone” He heard Shannon’s anger filed voice instead before the line went dead. Tim didn’t know what to make of what had just happened, dialing Jared’s phone once again, only to have it go directly to voicemail. He tried Shannon’s phone, dreading talking to the clearly pissed off man, but desperate to find out what was going on. Again he got a voicemail, praying that Tomo would be kind enough to answer his phone as he dialed it as a final hope. “Tomo…what the fuck is going on?” He cried out when he heard his friend pick up.

“They have photos of you leaving Jared’s this morning in the rag section of the paper tonight. They’ve titled it the walk of shame and they go on to describe your ripped clothing and the regretful look upon your face. There’s a whole section about Jared and a debate as to wither he is gay or not”

“Holy shit…is Jay ok?”

“He’s getting the riot act from Shannon right now. What the fuck is going on between you two Tim?”

“I honestly don’t know” Tim replied, hanging up the phone because he truly didn’t have anything else to say.

Tim’s head was killing him as he walked down the street, a gaggle of paparazzi screaming out after him as they took picture after picture. He had only wanted to go out for a cup of coffee and pick up a pack of smokes, but his task had been hindered the moment he stepped out of his car. They were on him like flies on honey, shouting out the most absurd and inappropriate questions. He ignored them as much as he could, finally having had enough once he had reached his car. “Get the fuck away from me you fucking scavengers” He screamed at the men. “What happened between Jared and I that night is between Jared and I. So fuck off” He screamed even louder, knowing that he was going to regret those words, but his anger had gotten the best of him. He wanted to see Jared so bad, but he knew it was anything but a good idea as he looked in his rear view mirror and found several cars following him. He didn’t know why it was that the fuckers were so interested in his love life, but then he remembered who they had paired him up to and groaned. He knew that everyone wanted to know if Jared was truly gay or if he just liked to fucked with the media as he had for many years before hand. He had a feeling that the scavengers weren’t just going to go away and that the whole situation was going to get worse before it got better.

“Shannon…would you please just leave me the fuck alone” Jared whined as his brother continued to pace in front of him. He couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath as with each walk back and forth, Shannon would run his hands through his hair roughly. He wondered what it would be like if Shannon was bald, not even realizing he was smiling at just how ridicules he would look.

“You think that this is funny Jay?” Shannon ground out at the grinning man. “Our entire career is about to go up in smoke and all you can do is laugh about it”

“I think that you are blowing this entire thing out of control. Tim and I fucked…so what. It isn’t going to be the end of the world. We’ll just ignore it and pretend like it didn’t happen or play it off like we always do. It’s not that big of a deal” Jared lied, hating the idea of denying anything that had happened between him and Tim, but knowing that it wouldn’t matter anyway. He was pretty sure that Tim was regretting what they had done since he hadn’t heard from him in days. “Besides…I’m sure that Tim has already denied everything and the press has moved onto their next big story”

“Please don’t tell me that you are falling for Tim?” Shannon fell on the couch next to his brother. “You can’t think that it meant anything more then a drunken fuck. His girlfriend just broke up with him. He was upset…drunk and lonely. You were just a rebound Jay. You can’t believe that it meant more then that?”

“I’m not fucking stupid you know” Jared snapped, getting up and storming out of the room before Shannon could read the hurt in his eyes. “Hello…” He spoke into the phone as he lie on his bed sulking.

“Hey…” He heard the voice of the man that was the cause of all of his confusion. “Jared…you there?”

“Yeah…I’m here” Jared replied quickly when he realized he had taken too long to reply. “How are you?”

“I’m ok…you?” Tim asked, kicking the border of the wall for not saying what he really wanted to say.

“I’m wonderful” Jared lied, not doubting for a minute that he was fooling Tim by the sigh he received in reply. “Look Tim…this is a completely fucked up situation” He decided to be frank. “I’m sure that you’ve already denied having anything to do with me and…”

“I didn’t” Tim spoke softly, not sure how Jared was going to react to what he was about to say.

“What? You didn’t what?” Jared asked quickly, sitting up as he waited for a reply.

“They were following me and asking me the most inappropriate questions and I put up with it for as long as I could and then I just…” He stopped taking a breath because he felt that he was about to pass out.

“You just what?”

“I told them that what happened between you and I that night was between you and I and then I told them to fuck off”

“You really said that?”

“Yeah…”

“You know they are going to take that to mean…”

“I don’t care what they take it to mean. Why does it matter anyway? It happened…we had sex. I’m not ashamed of who I am Jared. I like men and I like woman…who cares what the fuck the world thinks about that”

“Yeah” Jared said, lying back down, not understanding why what Tim had said bothered him.

“Hey Jared…” Tim called out his name when the man on the other line went silent.

“Hmm…”

“I was wondering…I mean…tomorrow’s Christmas Eve and I was wondering if…I mean I’m sure that you already have plans and all. Shit…nothing…forget it” Tim stammered in frustration, hating that he sounded like a blushing girl.

“I don’t” He rushed out in reply. “I don’t have any plans” He said a bit calmer despite the fact that his heart was racing once again. “Shannon’s spending it with Tomo’s family and I was supposed to be with Brent. Did you want to come over?” He asked, hoping and praying that Tim said yes because not only didn’t he want to be alone on Christmas Eve, but he was curios to see where it brought him and Tim.

“Yeah…I’d like that” Tim smiled, breathing deeply in relief. “I’ll see you tomorrow Jared. Night”

“See you tomorrow Tim. Night” Jared smiled as well, hanging up the phone.

“Jesus Christ Shannon…would you just leave him the hell alone and lets go” Tomo yelled at his boyfriend as he sat on the couch once again lecturing his brother. “Last time I checked Jared was a grown man and what the fuck do you care if he and Tim are lovers”

“Thank you Tomo…but Tim and I aren’t lovers” Jared reminded, smiling to himself because he hoped that those words were wrong.

“I know” Tomo winked, grabbing Shannon’s hand and jerking him up. “Come on…my parents were expecting us twenty minutes ago. You sure you and Tim don’t want to come? I’m sure that there will be more then enough food to go around”

“Thanks…but Tim and I are just going to hang out here and…”

“And fuck” Shannon cut him off, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to sit back down on the couch, Tomo stopping him as he dragged him towards the front door.

“I hope that they do fuck” Tomo growled at his boyfriend. “Jesus Shan…it’s been ages since I’ve seen Jared this excited about someone”

“He’s supposed to be with Brent” The drummer reminded.

“Shannon…I know that you are hoping that Brent and Jared work things out and become a real couple…but baby…I think that ship has sailed. You’ve seen how unhappy Jared’s been with the relationship…but look at him now and it’s all because of Tim. If Tim makes him happy…then let them be”

“And what do we do when Tim breaks Jared’s heart? Are you going to let me laugh and tell you that I told you so when it becomes blatantly clear that this is just a rebound thing”

“If it comes to that…then yes you can taunt me until I die. But…I don’t think that it’s a rebound thing at all. I think that there are some true feelings on both of their parts and I am begging you to please just stay out of it and see where it may lead”

“You are so going to eat those words” Shannon growled as he got into Tomo’s car.

“No my dear lover…I think that it is you that is going to eat those words” He spoke under his breath as he walked towards the driver’s side of the car.

Jared was on pins and needles as he waited for Tim to show up. It was an hour past the time they had agreed to meet and he had pretty much made up his mind that he had been stood up. “It’s not a date you fucktard” He scolded himself, staring out the window into the driveway. He wanted to call Tim in the worst way, but fear of rejection stopped him as he turned from the window and walked into the kitchen. “Hello…” He cried out into the phone when it rang, nearly scaring the shit out of him. “I mean…hello” He lowered his voice, cursing himself at the chuckle he got in reply. “Where are you?” He already knew who it was as he walked back into the living room.

“One of the fucking vultures ran out in front of my car as I was leaving my apartment. I didn’t see him until it was too late and he was on the ground.

“Did you kill him?” Jared asked, not feeling any remorse if he had.

“No…but his camera was smashed” Tim laughed. “I called the cops and have been dealing with that for the last hour. I’m on my way now. Jared…” He spoke more cautiously. “You know if I come in the front way they are going to exploit it. I just want to make sure that you are ok with it”

“Are you ok with it?” Jared asked, his voice quivering in a way that he truly hated.

“I told you last night that I don’t care what they or the world thinks about me. I’m just worried about you”

“They will make it out to be more then it is and we don’t even know what it is and…” Jared babbled, hating that this side of himself was showing.

“I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes” Tim cut him off, smiling at just how cute their normally refined front man sounded.

“Pick me up?”

“Yep…I’m taking you out to dinner and then we can just let the night take it where it takes us”

“Tim…”

“Be there in a few” Tim cut him off again, hanging up before Jared had a chance to fight him.

“Do you feel as if everyone in this place is staring at us?” Jared asked softly as he and Tim sat at one of his favorite restaurants nearly an hour later, shooting dirty looks at the patrons that seemed to be focused on their table.

“Of course they are staring…you’re Jared Leto…hottest man in the business” Tim smiled, ignoring the looks and focusing on the beautiful man before him.

“Fuck you Tim” The singer blushed, forgetting about others for the moment.

“If the evening goes as planned that will be on the agenda for tonight” Tim winked, picking up his menu.

“So you have an agenda do you?” Jared teased back.

“I do” He leaned forward, Jared doing the same as they gazed into each others eyes. “To start off I fill you with your favorite foods…spoil you with the decadent desserts that I know you love and then when you are full and content I take you back home and fuck your brains out”

Jared couldn’t help but shutter at the last part of Tim’s agenda, remembering some of their first time together, but not much due to his inebriation. “Well…we could skips part one and two and go directly to three”

Tim thought about it for a moment before deciding that he didn’t want to rush things. Everything with Jared was so new and so different and he wanted to enjoy as much of it as he could before anything else happened. He didn’t know what that anything else might be, but he knew that something was bound to happen. “Nah…I’m quite enjoying our date. We’ll just enjoy the evening and well…” He didn’t finish his sentence, smiling at Jared quickly before turning his attention towards the waiter who had walked up to their table.

“God I hate this part of Hollywood” Jared growled as they stood in the doorway of the restaurants entrance much later, watching the paparazzi as they lay in wait for them.

“Jared…” Tim said, placing his hand on Jared’s shoulder as he turned him to face him. “Did you really mean what you said about coming out? Are you really ready for the world to know who you are when it comes to your sexuality?”

Jared thought about Tim’s words thoroughly, already knowing the answer but the fear of rejection and the unknown reaction from his fans and the public great. “Yes…” He heard himself saying before he even knew that he had.

“Ok…” Tim smiled, reaching out and taking Jared’s hand into his own. “Hold on tight and don’t let go” He didn’t need a response, Jared’s return smile saying it all as together they walked into the sunlight, and the mass of photographers lying in wait. He was near blinded as he walked Jared towards his car, growing angry and more irritated as they fought their way with each step. He could feel Jared’s hand trembling within his own as he held on a bit tighter and urged him forward. He knew that he was being corny and that Jared would probably kick his ass later for treating him like a girl, but he didn’t care as they finally reached the car, opening the door for his date and assisting him inside.

“You know they are going to raze the shit out of me at the way you are treating me like the woman on this date” Jared laughed before climbing into the car, waiting for Tim to close it once he was settled. “Let’s get the fuck out of here” He said once Tim was buckled in. They drove in silence on the way back to Jared’s, each knowing what was about to happen next, but nervous enough to not what to screw it up.

“Do you want something to drink?” Jared asked as they entered his home, his body trembling, his mind distracted as he replayed over and over again in his head what they had done. “Fuck…” He cried out as he walked into the living room, the trembling increasing, his heart racing and the fear of the unknown beginning to swallow him whole.

“Jared…breath” He found Tim’s face in front of him. “Breath…” He heard him repeat as he followed his wishes and forced himself to breath properly. “It’s going to be ok” The bassist soothed, lying his hands gently upon the sides of his face. “You can do this”

“I’m scared Tim” Jared didn’t even recognize his own voice, closing his eyes when he felt a warm and comforting body press against his.

“I know you are…but you have no reason to be scared. This is your life…no one else’s and it doesn’t matter what the press or the fucking world says or thinks about it. You can now be free to be who you are. You can date who you want and do what you want…well not like you haven’t already been doing the second part” Tim chuckled. “You can do this…I know you can”

“I can date who I want huh?” Jared smiled up at the grinning man. “Does that mean I can date you?” The words rushed from his mouth before he could stop them, forcing him to take a step back because he felt like a complete moron. “Sorry…I shouldn’t have said that”

“Hey…come back here” Tim said as he grabbed onto Jared’s hand and tugged him back before him. “Look Jared…I don’t know what this is going on between us” He spoke the truth, staring deep into bright blue eyes. “But I’m not going anywhere until we figure it out. In fact I may never leave and you might be stuck with me for the rest of your life”

“I like the sound of that” Jared replied softly, allowing Tim to lead him toward the couch, the two of them sitting close together, Tim playing with the tips of Jared’s fingers. “Tim…” Jared broke the small silence that had settled around them.

“Yeah?” Tim said, looking up at Jared.

“Is this just a rebound?” He hated asking, but Shannon’s words wouldn’t stop playing around and around in his head.

“I know that it seems like it and I am sure that your brother has been telling you that it is…but all I can answer to that question is that is doesn’t feel like one” He began, intertwining their fingers together. “I know that it seems odd that right after I got dumped by my girlfriend that you and I just sorta fell together…but it doesn’t feel like that. Jesus Jared…I’ve always been attracted to you. From my first time meeting you I was drawn in…scared shitless…but drawn in none the less” Both men laughed, knowing that Jared seemed to have that effect on most of the people he met. “I like you Jared and I would like to see where this plays out…but the fact of the matter is that I can’t really tell you what this is because I don’t know”

“Ok…” Jared whispered, not liking the fact that his question was still unanswered, but willing to take a leap of faith with Tim in order to see where things could go.

“Jared…I…” Tim stammered, but was cut off as Jared leaned forward and kissed him softly.

“It’s ok” He repeated, lying his head on Tim’s shoulder as they each laid back and enjoyed the silence and each other’s company.

“Aww…now isn’t that the sweetest thing you have ever seen?” Tomo whispered to Shannon as the two of them stood before the couch where Tim and Jared lie wrapped around each other.

“Sickeningly sweet” Shannon growled under his breath, kicking the couch in order to wake the slumbering two.

“Hey…” Jared said, yawning and stretching, Tim doing the same.

“Hey yourself” Tomo grinned, plopping down between the two of them. “Did you guys have a nice evening?” He watched as Shannon sulked away with the leftovers his parents had insisted they bring back for Tim and Jared. “So…what did you do…or do I want to know” The crashing of plates jerked his attention from the answer he was waiting for. “Shannon…” He cried out, rushing into the kitchen, nearly falling to the ground as he slipped on the mess on the floor. “What the fuck Shannon?”

“Well I found out what they did tonight?” He pointed at the small TV. playing in the kitchen. “Something you two want to fucking tell us?” He asked Jared and Tim as they stood side by side in the doorway.

The trembling started all over again as Jared watched him and Tim running hand and hand from the restaurant, huge smiles on both of their televised faces. He felt as if what he was watching was all a dream, made up, not real, but by the looks of anger on his brother’s face, he knew it truly had happen. “It’s ok remember?” He heard Tim’s soothing voice beside him, the trembling lessoning some at the feel of a warm hand holding his own.

“This is not ok” Shannon roared, lunging forward and jerking their hands apart. “What the fuck Jared? Why would you do this?”

“He’s been wanting to come out for a long time now Shannon. Jesus…I’d think that as his brother that you’d be happy for him that he can finally be himself” Tim yelled, standing up to the older man despite the fact that he wanted to run like a mad man away from him.

“Why would I be happy that my brother has now not only outed himself to the entire world…but also ruined our band?” Spit flew from Shannon’s mouth at just how calm everyone seemed to be taking the news but him. “You do realize that they are going to be in your business constantly now don’t you? People are going to talk and lie and you will never have a moment’s peace”

“Why does it matter what people say as long as Jared is happy” Tim asked, gritting his teeth as he looked at the man they were talking about, he looking anything but happy. “Shannon…look at it this way since it will make it easier once you and Tomo decide to come out about your relationship”

“I won’t ever come out about our relationship” Shannon screamed loudly, regretting those words the moment that they exited his mouth. “Tomo…” He cried out after his lover, watching as he stormed out of the house, slamming the front door loudly behind him.

“Go after him Shannon” Jared urged his brother, his frustration growing when instead of following the man that he had been dating for the previous couple of years, he sat down at the kitchen table, crossing his arms over his chest. “Tim…please go check on Tomo”

Nodding, Tim, ran out the door the guitarist had exited. “Are you ok?” He asked the dumbest question in the world at the look of heartbreak on his friends face as he stood in front of his car. “I’m sure that Shannon didn’t mean anything by what he said. He’s pissed off about Jared and I”

“He meant it” Was Tomo’s hollow reply as he leaned against the front of his car.

“Tomo…no” Tim tried to sooth him, stepping back at the evil eyes he found boring up at him.

“We’re falling apart” He continued. “We’ve been having problems left and right for the last six months or so. I love Shannon…but every day I have to force myself to find a reason as to why we should stay together”

“You’ve had this argument before”

“Yeah…several times before” Tomo sighed, taking a deep breath in order to control his emotions. “We’ve been together a long time and honestly I don’t feel as if Shannon is as committed to this relationship as I am. After two years you would have thought that what we had would have grown or expanded…but it hasn’t. Nothing has changed. I’m ready to stop hiding. Ready to maybe make it official one day…start a family…but he won’t even consider it”

“I didn’t know Tomo. I’m sorry”

“No one knew…but the fact of that matter is that I think that this might be the final straw that puts an end to us”

“Son of a bitch” Tim cried out, startling Tomo with his outburst as the two of them turned around and found a row of paparazzi perched on Jared’s wall snapping pictures of the two. “Let’s go back inside” He started walking away, only to turn back around when he noticed that Tomo wasn’t following him.

“You go on because I am sure that Jared needs you right now. I just…” He took a deep breath before finishing his sentence. “I just need to think about everything and make some decisions”

“Tomo wait” But his words went unheard as he watched Tomo get into his car and drive off. “Shit…” He muttered under his breath opening the door and going in. Once inside he heard nothing but loud, ugly and hateful words being screamed between the brothers. Shannon and Jared were toe to toe, neither backing down, but Shannon clearly being the more dominate of the two. Tim tried to stop them, tried to out yell them, but his words and his efforts fell on deaf ears.

“You are one selfish motherfucker Jared” Were the last words that Shannon yelled at his younger brother before he took flight up the stairs, leaving him and Tim alone.

“You got something to say to me?” Shannon asked, stepping up to Tim in a threatening manner.

“I have plenty to say to you Shannon…but for right now I could give two shits about you. All that matters is that man upstairs that you just insulted in the worst kind of way. You and I will have our say you can just bet…but only after I make sure that Jared is ok” A rough grab upon his arm started Tim for just a second as he took a deep breath and punched the older man right in the face. “Touch me like that again and it will be the last fucking time that you touch me” He spat, rushing upstairs. “Jared…” He spoke softly, knocking on the door before entering. “Can I come in?” He asked, before taking another step, finding Jared standing in front of the window with his back to him.

“Come in and lock the door” Jared replied with a sigh, closing his eyes and wishing that the entire day had never happened.

“I don’t think that Shannon is going to bother us anymore since I left him sitting on the floor after I punched him” Tim spoke, moving cautiously into the room because he wasn’t sure how Jared was going to react.

“Good…did you draw blood by any chance?” He chuckled humorlessly as he turned to face Tim.

“No…but I might have knocked a few teeth loose” Tim smiled shyly. “Come here” He held his arms out towards Jared, closing them tightly around the thinner man's body the moment he fell into them. “Are you ok?”

“Do you think that I am being selfish?” Jared asked, stepping back as he moved away from Tim. “Do you think that I’ve fucked up the band and hurt Tomo and Shannon? I never want to hurt them. They’re my family and…”

“Hey…hey…Shannon is the one that is being selfish” Tim cut him off, pulling him into his arms once again. “You’ve been lying about who you are for the last thirty some years Jared. I think that you’ve earned the chance to stop the lies and be who you really are. Do I think that it might chase some of the fans away…probably…but then they weren’t true fans to begin with. Do I think that it will hurt Tomo and Shannon…doubtful” He held back the information he knew about Shannon and Tomo’s relationship because he didn’t want to upset him anymore then he already was.

“I’m really scared Tim” Jared repeated his earlier words. “I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life. So much could change and I have no one to blame but myself”

“You’ve never been afraid of anything before and as for this…well…this is nothing. You can take this with your eyes closed. You’ve never cared what the world thought of you before…why care now. The truth is that people either like you or they hate you…there is no middle ground” Tim smiled, kissing Jared sweetly. “I happen to like you and I promise you that I’m not going anywhere until you and I figure this thing out”

“I like you too” The singer smiled, closing his eyes as Tim leaned in and kissed him again. “Will you stay tonight?” He asked once the kiss ended.

“Well your brother might try and kill me in my sleep if I do…but if you want me to I will”

“I want you to” Jared replied softly, pulling his shirt from his body, the rest of his clothes quickly following as he walked slowly towards the bed. Tim didn’t waste another second as he shed his clothing as well before joining Jared in bed. “Thanks for sticking up for me with Shannon”

“I’m always going to be there for you Jared” Tim responded, lying beside the man causing such confusion within his head that he couldn’t see straight. The rest of the night the two men spent making love to each others bodies until they were both to exhausted to do much else but sleep.

The reaction from the public was actually worse then either man could have imagined as the pictures and the video of the two of them were showed over and over again. Discussion groups were held on TV debating wither it was all a highly devised ploy by the actor and singer to keep his name in the spotlight or if he truly was coming out to the world for his own reasons. Shannon wasn’t speaking to his brother unless it pertained to work, his temper hard and heavy and brought on by the littlest thing. Making matters worse, Tomo had decided to end their two year relationship making their working relationship painful and strained. Jared and Tim tried to spend as much time together as possible, but the higher powers at the label and Shannon himself made it almost impossible.

Tim dealt with it as best he could, but was finding it harder and harder to fight for the relationship he was pretty sure was dead to begin with. He hadn’t seen Jared in over a week and with each day that passed he became surer of the fact that it was something that he should have never thought about in the first place. But Jared seemed determined to try as he showed up at Tim’s apartment one day, ripping his clothes off the moment the door to his apartment was open and making love to Tim right there on the hallway floor.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much” Jared said after the two of them had left the hard floor and were snuggling on Tim’s old and ratty couch. “Shannon’s just been on my ass so much and the label has pretty much tried to put me under house arrest. I’m going crazy Tim. I thought that coming out what going to be liberating…but it’s been nothing but bullshit since it happened”

“I’m sorry Jared” Tim replied, pulling away from the singer because the guilt was more then he could deal with. “I shouldn’t have ever forced you to hold my hand that day. What right did I have to make you do something that you weren’t ready for “

“Hey…” Jared cut him off, leaning against the wiry body that he had grown to love. “You didn’t make me do anything. I was ready to come out and have been for years remember? I had just hoped that it would have been a lot smoother. I don’t blame you for anything Tim. I’m glad that I can be myself now…but I can’t lie and say it hasn’t been hard. I think what makes it worse is the fact that Tomo dumped Shannon and now he has nothing but me to fixate on” Jared sighed, snuggling closer to Tim’s body at the arm wrapped around his shoulder.

“You can’t really blame Tomo though” Tim sighed as well, happy and content and kicking himself mentally for his earlier thoughts. “He loves Shannon so much and yet Shannon refuses to even consider coming out with him. He’s just tired of hiding who he is too and when you did it with me…I think that it was just the final straw”

“He’s scared. Although he would never in a million years admit it. You should see how sad and broken he looks when he thinks that I’m not around. I could have sworn I heard him crying in his room the other night…but I was too shocked and to scared to find out. It’s just a fucked up situation and I feel so fucking helpless because I can’t do anything about it”

“Those two have to work though their difference. If it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be”

“I know…but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it” Jared grinned at the laugh from Tim, kissing him quickly before getting up.

“Where are you going?’ Tim asked, grabbing onto Jared’s hand and trying to pull him back next to him on the couch.

“Come on…lets go out” Jared exclaimed as he leaned forward and kissed Tim quickly before going in search of their hastily discarded clothing.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked, excited about the prospect of getting out of the house and spending time with Jared.

“Dinner…because I am fucking starving and then dancing” The singer beamed, bouncing around the room as he dressed himself.

“Dancing…really?” Tim asked with a look of disgust on his face, but it didn’t last long at the puppy dog pout he received in reply. “Ok…fine…dancing”

The two enjoyed their dinner, ignoring the gawkers and the paparazzi watching their every move. Afterwards they decided to walk to the nearby club owned by Jared’s best friend and former lover, once again just enjoying the evening as their every move was followed and captured of film and video. They had question after question thrown at them, Jared used to the craziness and stupidity of their questions, Tim growing angrier and angrier with each one. “Just ignore them and pretend like they aren’t there” Jared whispered against his ear when a particularly brave idiot stepped right in their path and asked about their sex life

Tim had never been so thrilled to see the inside of a dance club then he had as they entered Brent’s place, but he could tell by the look Brent was shooting at from across the room that he had some explaining to do before he could truly enjoy the rest of his evening with Jared. “You want a drink?” Jared asked as they settled into the reserved red section of the VIP lounge.

“Beer” He replied, smiling brightly when Jared nodded and then kissed him quickly before heading off towards the bar. “Do you want to talk here or would you rather go some place a bit quieter?” He spoke up over the loudness surrounding them when Brent made his way over to their table

“What are you doing with him?” Brent asked, deciding to be head on himself.

“I’m getting to know him…seeing where this could be going” Tim replied, knowing that it wasn’t the answer that Brent wanted to hear.

“This isn’t a game for Jared you know. I know for you this is just a game…but for him this is real. He has real feelings for you and I see nothing but him getting hurt in the long run”

“This isn’t a fucking game” Tim growled, his hands gripping the sides of the leather chairs they were sitting on. “I care for Jared and I would never purposely hurt him. You can’t expect me to just throw out words of love and devotion so soon into this and you know what…it doesn’t fucking matter anyway does it? The fact of that matter is that you and Shannon have already decided that I am out to hurt him and there isn’t anything that I can do to change that. So here it is Brent…take it or leave it” He took a deep breath before speaking. “I care for Jared. I’ve felt something for him from the first time that I’ve met him. He knows this already. He also knows that I don’t know what this means between us but that I am willing to see where it goes…because honestly…I see it going somewhere big. You either except it and we all live in harmony or you do as Shannon and choose to hate me…either way I’m not leaving. Now if you’ll excuse me…I’m going to go find my date and spin him a few times around the dance floor” He smiled at Brent before taking his leave. He knew that he was being hateful to the man that he knew still was in love with Jared, but he didn’t care. Brent had had his change with Jared and failed and that was something that he was damned determined that he wasn’t going to do.

“Hey sexy…wanna dance” He yelled over Jared’s shoulder as he stood at the bar talking to someone Tim didn’t know.

“Thanks…but I don’t think that my boyfriend would approve” Jared beamed, his face turning to a look of horror at the realization of his words. “I mean…”

“Well your boyfriend is a loser because he let you out of his sights and you are all mine tonight” Tim smiled, liking the feel of the title boyfriend. “So…lets dance” He smiled even wider, taking a sip of the beer Jared had in his hand before slamming it loudly on the bar.

“But you hate to dance” Jared called out to him as Tim took his hand and tugged him onto the dance floor.

“I do…” Tim agreed, wrapping his arms around Jared’s neck once they found a spot on the crowded floor. “However…you love it and tonight is all about you” He kissed the stunned man sweetly before taking a deep breath and preparing himself for humiliation. The truth was that he did hate dancing, the only dancing he approved of being the dance he did whenever he had his bass in his hands when he played during a show. He tried to move his body one way and felt totally awkward, then the other way, it feeling even more so. “God…I suck at this” He whined as he watched Jared totally engrossed in the music a little ways from him. He wished that he could move like Jared did…wished that he could lose himself in whatever little world he seemed to be lost in because it made him look almost angelic. The lines of worry were gone from his face, his eyes bright and sparkling in a way that took Tim’s breath away.

“He’s beautiful when he dances isn’t he” Tim was drawn back into reality at a voice he heard next to his ear.

“He is” He replied as he watched the way Brent was looking at Jared, knowing immediately that his earlier interrogation wasn’t one of friendship, but of something so much deeper. “I’m sorry Brent” He rushed out before he could stop himself.

“Nothing you could have prevented. I fucked up and because of it I lost him” Brent smiled sadly, taking another look at Jared before taking his leave.

“Hey…you’re not dancing” He heard Jared’s sexy voice speak in the other ear as he watched Brent walk away. He didn’t say anything, just smiled as Jared turned his back to him, taking his arms and wrapping them around his waist as he ground his backside into his groin area.

“Are you trying to get me to fuck you right here on this dance floor?” Tim teased as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms even tighter around the lean waist. “Keep that up and it just might happen” He forgot all about Brent, only able to concentrate on how wonderful holding Jared in his arms felt.

Weeks passed and everything seemed to be going along smoothly. Jared and Tim were continuing to get to know each other and their feelings were starting to change as well. Tim had never felt such a great connection with anyone else that he had been with before and as much as being with Jared made him happy, he also found it troubling as well. He found himself struggling with the limelight. He hated the constant cries of the paparazzi, the flashing of cameras and the fact that even when Jared wasn’t with him, he was never alone. He knew that his feelings for Jared ran deep, deep enough that he was almost one hundred percent certain that he was falling in love with the man, and yet he held those words to himself. Jared had spoken them freely one night after they had made love and despite the fact that he tried to play it off that it didn’t hurt when Tim could only return that he cared for him, he hadn’t been very successful at all. To make matters worse, Shannon had become an even bigger pain in the ass to him. Tomo had started seeing another man and it was driving Shannon insane to see any sort of love or attention shared between Jared and Tim.

Tim’s nerves were beginning to wear thin, the only time he felt truly content was when he was alone with Jared in bed. The problem was that there were less and less of those times and more time spent alone at night. Between working on the new record and Shannon’s constant call of his brother’s attention, it hardly left any room in Jared’s life for him. He tried to be patient and enjoy the time that they did have together, but it was getting harder and harder to deal with each time. Small arguments began to pop up after a while, he and Jared not speaking for nearly two weeks after one especially heated episode. Tim however, quickly got over himself and begged Jared’s forgiveness. Everything seemed to fall back into place after that, but it all came quickly to an end one afternoon and their blossoming relations was never the same again.

“Jared…I’m here” Tim cried out as he entered his boyfriend’s home. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he entered the living room and found Jared sitting on the couch with a look of pure upset upon his normally handsome face. “Jared?” He grew concerned when his lover didn’t speak, just continued to stare at the floor in front of him. “Will someone please tell me what the fuck happened?” He yelled, looking from Shannon to Tomo.

“You’re what the fuck happened” Shannon bellowed, pointing his finger in Tim’s shocked face. “You worm your way into Jared’s private life and make him do things that none of us were ready for. You’ve pretty much ruined his life mother fucker” Tim took a step back not only from the way Shannon stepped up to him, but by the shock of his words as well.

“Tomo?” He looked to his friend for some help, because he had no clue what the hell he had done.

“The gay community has rallied against him. Several of the larger magazines pulled together and ran an article calling Jared the biggest douche bag of the century” A copy of one of the magazines was slapped into his hands by Shannon. Tim was speechless as he looked at the headlines bold and blazing in black before him.

“I don’t understand. What happened that made this come about?” Tim asked, fully confused as he once again turned his eyes towards a still silent Jared.

“We don’t know…but it says in the article that they were told by an anonymous person that Jared was doing all of this for publicity. They don’t believe for one second that you and he are lovers and even though we all know its true, it only takes one asshole to turn everyone” Tomo replied, sitting down next to Jared, running his fingers though the older mans hair as he tried to comfort him.

“Of course they don’t believe him. Jared’s been taunting them for years that he was gay and now…”

“And now what?” Shannon roared, rushing across the room and shoving Tim roughly. “You think that this is all Jared’s fault? None of this would have happened if you hadn’t screwed things up with your girlfriend and filled his head with the idea that you really do care for him. Hell…for all we know you could be the anonymous person who spoke to them. I mean it would make sense right. You started this thing with Jared and it was great at the beginning because you had someone to help you get over your broken heart…but then it started to get serious and you couldn’t handle that and so you high tailed it over to the magazine like a little coward to end things”

“I would never do anything like that to Jared” Tim spat out, enraged that Shannon would think such a thing. “I care for him very much. Jared you have to believe that I had nothing to do with this. Jared…” He cried out even louder when Jared still hadn’t responded.

“I don’t know what to believe” Jared finally spoke, his heart torn and confused as he looked up at the man he was in love with. “It’s the only thing that really makes any sense right now” He took a deep breath, trying to will the tears away but unable to stop the facet that erupted down his face. “We’ve been together for months Tim and you still haven’t told me that you love me yet. I’ve told you over and over again and you’ve never been able to say it back. It has to mean something right?” He asked, looking hopeful for a moment and then devastated the next. “I don’t know what to believe anymore” He repeated, getting up and walking towards the upstairs. “I just need to be alone”

“Jared…I didn’t do this. You know I didn’t do this” His heart broke into a million pieces at the look of distrust he got as an answer, running for the door afterwards in order to get away from everyone. He knew that he should have gone home, but instead he found himself driving aimlessly through the busy streets of downtown L.A. His mind was torn and conflicted as he continued to drive, unable to understand how it was that Jared didn’t believe him when he told him that he had nothing to do with the magazine article. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he pulled his car onto a parking garage and cried and cried until he was fully exhausted and unable to shed another tear. He was about to doze off in the front seat of his car when his phone went off, his heart racing in hopes that it was Jared. “Jared…baby…I’m sorry” He blurted out, that same heart diving into his stomach at the voice he heard instead.

“Tim…it’s me” He heard his ex-girlfriends voice speak though the phone. “I heard about you and Jared and…” He didn’t hear the rest of what she said, his mind still in to much shock over what had happened and at hearing her voice after so much time had passed. “Would you like to get together for a drink?” She asked and before he knew what he was saying he had left the garage and was on his way to where she had specified.

The parking lot was almost completely empty when he pulled up, but he wasn’t surprised considering it was the middle of the afternoon. His heart pulled a little as he walked into the familiar building, a place the two of them had frequented a lot when they had been together. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent when she ran across the small bar, holding him close as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “God…I’ve missed you so much” He heard her say, not giving him a chance to respond as she took his hand and practically dragged him towards their old table. “Brings back old memories doesn’t it?” She asked, smiling at him as she continued to hold his hand. “I’ve missed this…missed us” She went on, moving closer, an intent look upon her face.

“I need a beer” He spoke quickly, pushing away before she could get any closer. “Two beers” He told the bartender, downing his in one go before ordering another.

“You seem nervous” The woman purred when Tim returned to the table, practically sitting on his lap once he had sat down. “It’s just me Tim…nothing to be nervous about”

“I think that I have everything to be nervous about” He added, trying to keep some distance between them, but she wasn’t having it as he moved even closer.

“I read the article about you and Jared and I just wanted to make sure that you were ok” She replied, trying to act as if she truly cared and yet Tim didn’t believe it for one second. “I mean…I have to admit that it was a bit of a shock to learn that you jumped right from our bed into his after we broke up”

“We didn’t break up…you broke us up” He reminded angrily, downing one of the bottles on the table before grabbing the other one.

“I know and you have no idea how sorry I am about that” She continued, undeterred by Tim’s outburst. “I’m hear to remedy that”

“I’m with Jared now…or I was” He blurted out, confused as to what the status of their relationship was at that point in time. “I don’t know anymore” He downed the contents of the other bottle of beer, his head starting to swim a bit as he felt her warm body move even closer.

“None of that matters anymore Timmy because you are with me now…right where you belong” Tim wanted to fight her, he even tried, but he quickly found that he was no match to the beer in his system and the warm familiar mouth kissing him. He gave in without question, closing his eyes and holding her close as he fell into those remembered kisses head long. “Mmmm…I missed this” He heard her moan, her hands on his dick trying to work him up under the table. “Missed you” His eyes flew open in a flash at just how wrong everything felt.

“No…I can’t do this” He pushed her away, trying to leave the table, but only managing to tangle the two of them even closer together.

“Come on Timmy…you belong with me. We belong together” She tried to pull him back in order to kiss him again, but nearly fell to the floor as he bolted from the seat. “What the fuck Tim?” She cried out as he stood there, wobbling back and forth. “You can’t honestly tell me that you love Jared fucking Leto more then you love me”

“I don’t know what I feel” He slurred truthfully, but he wasn’t sure if it was from her words or the alcohol flooding his senses.

“I do…you love me Timmy. You’ve always loved me” She purred again, sliding out of the chair as she took his hand and led him from the bar. “Come on…lets go back to your place and you can show me how much you love me” He wanted to fight her, but as she slammed him against the wall of the bar near the parking lot and kissed him hungrily once again, he found that coherent thought was impossible. Her hands were everywhere as she continued to kiss him; his jeans unbuttoned and at his knees before he knew what was happening. He tried to push her away, but with each attempt she seemed to get more aggressive, even braver as she fell to her knees and began to nurse his cock with her mouth.

“Please stop” He pleaded, or at least he thought that he had as she continued to do her deed.

“What’s wrong with you” She cried out in frustration as she tried once again to give her ex oral pleasure. “Get it up why don’t you”

“I can’t” Tim slumped against the wall.

“Why not?” She cried out even louder, still trying like hell to get any reaction from a dick she once knew so well.

“Because you’re not Jared” Tears came to his eyes as he slid down the wall, his bare ass meeting the cold ground below. “You’re not Jared” He repeated, closing his eyes because he knew he couldn’t look at the woman who at one time was his entire world.

“Oh my god…you’re in love with him” She spoke more to herself, but it got Tim’s attention as he opened his eyes and finally looked at her. “I knew you always liked boys Tim…I just never expected that you would fall in love with one” She felt horrible for what she had tried to do, the main reason she did was out of spite and not because she wanted to rekindle her relationship with him. “I’m sorry Tim. I just never expected that you would fall in love so quickly after us”

“I didn’t either…but Jared’s special” He smiled sadly, drawing his knees into his chest, a few simple tears slipping down his cheek.

“Come on…let me get you home” She ignored the pain in her heart at those words as she helped him off of the ground, dressed him quickly before leading him towards his car.

Jared was a nervous wreck as he sat parked in front of Tim’s apartment. It had been a long night the night before, made even worse by the fact that he had slept alone. He had decided quite early in the morning that he had been foolish in his assumption that Tim had been involved in the article, but had forced himself to stay home and not run into his arms until it was a decent time. He hoped that Tim would be kind enough to forgive him for being such a jerk and that they could move passed the article and his stupidity and be together. He couldn’t help but smile as he closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment because he knew without a doubt that Tim would forgive him because that was the kind of man that Tim was. The smile remaining, he got out of his car, locked the door and made his way around the front. He couldn’t help the happy tune that hummed its way over his lips as he walked towards his apartment, everything falling flat at what he saw next. His heart broke into a million shards as he watched the door to Tim’s apartment open and two figures emerge. He found that he couldn’t breathe as they held each other tightly before sharing what appeared to be a simple and sweet kiss. His feet couldn’t move as Tim watched the woman leave, a smile upon his own face as he waved goodbye to her. The blood drained from his face as Tim turned to enter his apartment, catching him out of the corner of his eye. “Jared…” He heard him cry out his name as he began to run towards him. “Jared…wait” He heard again, but he couldn’t stay as he turned and ran like hell for his car.

“NO…NO…NO” Tim cried out as Jared jumped into his car and raced off. He knew that Jared had seen the hug and the kiss that he had shared with his ex-girlfriend, already knowing that he was reading more into it then there was. “Fuck…” He yelled, ready to pull his hair out as he rushed back into his apartment, searching frantically for his phone.

Jared ignored his ringing cell phone as he continued to drive like a maniac back to his house. He felt as if his entire body was numb, forcing himself to stay upright as he wove in and out of the busy traffic. He couldn’t cry, couldn’t muster up the strength to get angry as an hour later he stood staring out the front window of his home, just trying to feel something. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and mentally kicked himself for falling for Tim, his brother’s words coming back to haunt him about what they had shared being just a rebound. He still didn’t want to believe that it could be true, but as he thought back to what he had seen earlier, there was no other explanation in his mind.

“Brent called and wants to know if you want to hang out tonight?” He heard Shannon’s voice as he entered the living room, sitting down behind him. “Well?” He questioned, as he turned to face him. “You ok? You don’t look so good?” He could read the concern on Shannon’s face, but he wasn’t ready for the drummers “I told you so” attitude, so he put on his bravest acting face.

“I’m fine” He lied. “Tell Brent thanks…but I have something else that I have to do tonight”

“What…spend your night fucking Tim” Shannon growled, gritting his teeth.

“I’ll talk to you later Shannon” Jared called out over his shoulder, ignoring his brother’s remarks as he rushed up into his bedroom, closing the door lightly behind him.

The next day Shannon could tell that something was wrong with Jared and yet no matter how hard he tried to find out the younger man refused to tell him. It wasn’t as if he were acting depressed, he even seemed somewhat normal, but there was just something off about him and it was nearly driving him insane that he didn’t know. Towards the end of the day he was about ready to pounce on his brother until he spilled the truth, but a short phone call from Brent gave him all the answers that he needed to know. “No fucking way” He spoke to himself as he scrolled through the many pictures posted on one of the biggest gossip websites on the net. He didn’t know what to feel about them, ranging from shock, anger, but surprising of all disbelief.

“What are you looking at that has you so engrossed?” He barely heard Jared say before his blackberry was ripped from his hands.

“Jared…I am sure that there is an explanation to them” Shannon tried to defend Tim and yet he didn’t know why.

“Of course there is” Jared replied in a monotone, still flipping through the photos. “He’s gotten back with his girlfriend” He handed the phone back to Shannon when he couldn’t look at them anymore. “I don’t know why you are so surprised. You told me this would happen all along and you were right big brother. So go ahead…tell me I told you so and we can move on” He waited for a moment and when Shannon didn’t reply, he turned away. “I’m going to go work on this song I started working on last night” He said over his shoulder, numb once again. “I’ll see you tomorrow Shannon. Goodnight”

“Good night” Shannon spoke to the empty room, confused as hell as to what he should think about the pictures of Tim, his emotionless brother and that fact that he missed Tomo so much at that moment in time that he felt as if he would cry. Sitting down, he looked at the pictures once again, trying to make sense of what he saw in front of him. There was no doubt that Tim was being given head in the picture by his ex-girlfriend but as he continued to examine one picture in particular, he could tell that Tim wasn’t in to it at all. In fact the closer he looked, he could have sworn that he saw tears in his eyes and they did not look to be tears of happiness.

“Go away Shannon” Jared yelled at the knock he heard upon his door. Rolling his eyes when he request was ignored and Shannon entered anyway. “I’m busy” He glowered at the man, turning his attention back to the tattered notebook he was writing in.

“Just hear me out” Shannon said as he entered the room, not understanding why his brother insisted on doing his song writing sprawled out on his belly on the floor, when they had perfectly good tables throughout the house. “Jared…I don’t think these pictures mean what you think they mean” He rushed out, flinching back at the evil look shot back at him. “I just mean that yes they are pictures of…” He didn’t finish the sentence at the second look of death he received. “It you look closely you can see that he’s not into it. In fact I would venture to guess that he couldn’t even get it up because he was thinking of you”

“Really” Jared shot out, pulling himself onto his knees. “Was he thinking of me yesterday when I went to his house and found him holding her at the front door? Do you think that he was thinking of me when he kissed her as well? I highly doubt that any of those answers are yes Shannon…because I saw it with my very eyes. You were right about him. This should make you happy that you were right about him all along. So gloat and get it over with and then leave me the fuck alone”

Once again Shannon was at a loss of words and before he could even think of anything to say he was being shoved back into the hallway. His feet started working before his brain did as he rushed down the stairs, jumped on his motorcycle and speed away. He didn’t think that Tim was home as he beat unmercifully upon the door to his apartment, jumping back in fright when it was opened and the man stood before him looking beat down and ready to fall apart. “Come to gloat” Tim’s words were slow and full of pain as he walked away and left Shannon standing there.

“I actually came to say I’m sorry” Shannon said as he walked in behind Tim and closed the door. “I mean it Tim” He went on when the man didn’t even turn around.

“It doesn’t matter anymore now does it?” Tim asked as he finally turned and faced him. “I fucked up and made a huge mistake and now Jared hates me for it” Shannon’s heart broke at the look of outright devastation staring back at him.

“You really do love him don’t you?” He asked, not having to hear the answer at all to know that it was true. “Tim…you have to fight for him. You can’t just let it end like this” Shannon stepped forward, grabbing onto Tim’s arms and shaking him as if to prove his point. “He loves you too Tim and…”

“And nothing” Tim jerked away from Shannon’s grasp. “He hates me and I can’t even fucking blame him”

“He’s angry yes…but he doesn’t hate you” Shannon replied, his loneliness for Tomo almost making him cry as it had earlier. “Look Tim…I saw the pictures” He watched as Tim’s face fell even more. “But…I could see that you weren’t into it. I could see the tears in your eyes and the misery on your face”

“I couldn’t even get it up. All I kept thinking about was Jared and how it felt so wrong” Shannon knew that Tim was talking to himself, but he didn’t care, the point was that he was at least talking.

“I was wrong about you and what you felt for Jared. I don’t even think that I was upset about the fact that the two of you got together…only that I knew it was going to cause problems between Tomo and I” He admitted a truth that he thought would have never see the light of day.

“I don’t understand” Tim said, watching as Shannon fell into a nearby chair, head in hands for the longest time before he started speaking again. “Tomo’s wanted to come out about us for a while now and I kept fighting him every step of the way. It isn’t that I don’t love him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him…but I was just petrified of what others thought about it…about us. I knew that I was hurting him but he was willing to stay with me despite it and then you came along and didn’t care who knew of your feelings for Jared. You didn’t care that people knew you were into men and it pissed me off to no end because I knew it would cause trouble between Tomo and I. I would take it all back and shout it from the rooftops if I could” He sighed, focusing on Tim once again. “It wasn’t fair to you or Jared…but I was angry and taking it out on you was the only way for me to vent my frustrations. You can’t believe how sorry I am for being such an ass to you. I wish that I could take it all back…but since I can’t I can make sure to try like hell and make things right between you and Jared again”

“Do you still love him?” Tim ignored Shannon’s remarks.

“Tomo…of course I still love him” Shannon replied, confused as to what that had to do with him and Jared. “He’s the love of my life”

“Will you do me a favor? He asked, folding his hands across his lap.

“Sure…anything” Shannon said eagerly, willing to do anything to make up for the horrible way he had treated Tim.

“Will you go into my room and make sure I shut off the CD player” He said, trying to keep a straight face despite his upset.

“Um…ok” Shannon replied, getting up and walking into Tim’s bedroom, stopping short at what he saw sitting on the bed. “Tomo…” He whispered his ex-lovers name, tears coming to his eyes as an onslaught of emotions rolled over him.

“Did you mean it? Do you still love me? Would you really scream it from the rooftops?” Tomo asked tearfully, clutching Tim’s pillow to his chest as he waited for Shannon’s response.

“Yes to everything” Shannon said the word clearly and full of truth. “Oh fuck Tomo…I’ve missed you so much” He cried out against the mans ear as he was crushed within his strong embrace. “I’m so sorry…sorry for everything”

“I don’t care anymore. I just can’t stand to be away from you anymore” Tomo sobbed, grabbing onto the sides of Shannon’s face before pressing his hungry lips against his. “I love you so much” He poured out the truest of words between kisses, giggling like a school girl when he was literally swept off of his feet and walked over towards the bed. He found himself lost in a sea of Shannon as the hard, lean body pressed him into the mattress, his lips made busy by another pair of incessant lips that were as needy as his own were.

Tim watched from the doorway, happy that the two were able to get back together, although he was sure that there was still much to talk about between them. His heart soared for a moment as he shared their happiness, only to crumple like a soda can as the image of Jared entered his mind. Head hung low, he left the room, ready to leave the apartment and give the two of them some space, but a hand on his arm stopped him. “I don’t care what it takes Tim…we are going to get the two of you back together” He could hear the truth in Shannon’s words and for a moment he actually allowed himself to believe that it could happen. However, it didn’t last long as he recalled a time when he had first started subbing for the band that someone very close to Jared had hurt him and how he had cut him out of his life like it was nothing.

“Don’t waste you time or your energy” He spoke sadly, closing his eyes as the pain seemed to intensify. ‘I doubt there is anything that you can say or do that will make Jared forgive me. Fuck…I can’t even forgive myself” He fell backwards onto his old and worn couch, lying on his back as he stared at the ceiling.

“Tim…you were drunk. You tried to get her to stop” Tomo spoke up, recalling everything that Tim had told him earlier.

“Who do you think took the pictures?” Shannon asked, pacing back and forth as Tomo and Tim watched him. “There is no doubt that they were professional…but who hates Jared enough that he would follow you around in hopes that…”

“It was a set up” Tomo and Shannon cried out at the same time, Tim rolling his eyes at the absurdity of it all.

“Tim…you said that she called you just out of the blue right?” Shannon asked, pulling Tim’s feet off of the couch before sitting down besides him.

“Shannon…she would never do anything like that” Tim defended his ex; getting upset that Shannon was even considering that it was a set up.

“Just listen to me” He held his hands up in defense. “She just called out of nowhere and asked you to meet her at your favorite bar. A bar that you and her spent a lot of time in. She’s gets you drunk and then is all over you. Why do you think that she wanted to suck you off in the parking lot? You’d been together a lot of years and I don’t ever recall you telling us about a fetish for doing it in public” Shannon knew that he was pretty much guessing what had happened that day since he really hadn’t heard the whole story, but at the look on Tim’s face he guessed that he was either right on or pretty damn close.

“Why would she do that? We were together for a long time. No…no… I don’t believe that she would ever hurt me like that…no matter what has happened between us. I think that you’re wrong. It was probably some random scavenger looking for his next big money maker. You know that they’ve been following me everyday since Jared and me…” He couldn’t finish his sentence at the pain lodge in his throat once again. “Just leave it be…please” He forced the words out, closing his eyes because he didn’t want to cry in front of the two men he thought of as friend.

“Where is she staying?” Shannon ignored Tim’s remarks, knowing that he was hurting, but determined to make it all go away when he reunited him and Jared. “I said where is she staying?” He asked again, a bit louder when Tim didn’t respond.

“Shannon…” Tomo finally spoke up, lying his hand upon his shoulder. “Maybe we should just leave it for now”

“NO…” Shannon yelled, taking Tomo’s hand and tugging him around the couch before pulling him into his lap. “I know that he is hurting and I know that he misses Jared so much that he can’t breathe. I know that he thinks that it’s a dead end and a waste of time…trust me I know because I felt all those things when you and I were apart. I also know my brother and he loves you Tim. He’s hurt and he’s confused and you can’t really blame him…but if we can prove that it was all a set up I know that he will forgive you”

“And what if he won’t?” Tim screamed as he jumped off of the couch. “What if you’re wrong? Confused or not…he saw a picture of my ex trying to suck me off. I cheated on him…don’t you get that Shannon. I fucking cheated on him” He fell back onto the couch again, leaning forward until he his head was almost between his knees. “Even if he could forgive me…I couldn’t forgive myself” He sobbed, not caring anymore if they saw him because his heart was broken.

“Tell me where she is staying” Shannon asked again, lying his hand upon Tim’s shivering shoulder. “You’re wrong on all counts…I just need you to let me prove it to you” Tim gave up the fight as he gave him the address between hiccupping sobs. “You stay with Tim” He said to Tomo, kissing him quickly before taking his leave. Shannon’s mind was a whirling mess as he rode towards his destination. He was ecstatic beyond belief that he and Tomo were finally back together, but knew that they had much to talk about and deal with before everything was back in order. He felt horrible for Tim, who he knew was hurting more then he was saying. He felt bad for his brother, but angry as well because he felt that Jared should have known this whole thing had been a set up. However, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had fanned that flame of untrust in Jared and only he was to blame for that. His determination grew as he pulled up in front of the row of apartments, ready to beat anyone down that got in his way.

He was poised and ready to attack as he banged on the door of the apartment Tim had given him, only to shrink back as the door was open and an equally broken former girlfriend of Tim’s stood before him. He knew automatically that Tim had called to alert her. “I didn’t know” She sobbed, stepping back and allowing Shannon to enter the apartment. “I didn’t know he was already in love with him. He offered me so much money and I’ve been living here with my girlfriend since I broke up with Tim and…” She babbled on, not making much sense, but enough that he got that his theory had been right.

“Who offered you money?” Shannon cut off her crying rant as he grabbed onto her shoulders and forced her to stay in one place. “Who?” He asked again when he didn’t get a response.

“Marshall Crispin” She cried out, pulling away from Shannon. “He just called me out of the blue and told me that Tim and Jared were dating and he offered me money to expose them. I said no at first, but then the anger took control and I wanted to hurt Tim in the worst way because he’s supposed to be in love with only me”

“You broke up with him you stupid bitch. Why the hell would you want to get back at him because of something that you did?” Shannon yelled, fighting the urge to slap the girl stupid for what she had done.

“I don’t know” She sobbed even harder. “He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with anyone else so quickly…much less a fucking man” She spat, crying even harder once she had. “I really just wanted to hurt Jared and make him hate Tim…but what I didn’t expect was that Tim was fucking in love with him and so I hurt him anyway. I never thought that he would love someone more then he loved me” Shannon heard her say again, but he didn’t care because he had gotten the information that he needed. Once again his mind was whirling as he sped down the streets, taking a detour from Tim’s place as he drove into a seedier place in town.

“I need to see Spike” Shannon spoke to a dirty looking man after entering an even seedier looking bar.

“Who the fuck are you?” The man growled, not liking the look of the person in front of him at all.

“Shannon Leto” He replied, almost ready to laugh at the way the other man was trying to intimidate him. “He knows who I am” He spoke in a low voice, leaving no room as to what would happen next as he clenched his fist together and slammed it on the bar he was standing in front of.

“I see that nothing has changed about your tempter Leto” Shannon heard an old familiar voice as the person her was looking for emerged from around the corner, one that he had hoped he would never have to hear again.

“Spike…” Shannon nodded at the man, sitting when he was indicated to sit. “I see you still hang out with some of the skuzziest people around” He snarled after the guy shooting daggers at him as he was indicated to leave.

“You and I used to be the closet of friends Bones” Spike reminded, grinning evilly at the look of disgust that crossed Shannon’s face as he used his old nickname.

“We hung out a lot and I did a lot of serious shit for you…but I would hardly call us friends” The drummer replied in full irritation. “I’m not that person anymore” He cringed as he recalled years prior when he had been an accomplish to the man and his evil business.

“You will always be Bones to me” Another grin was shared as he enjoyed Shannon’s discomfort. “I can’t find good help like you anymore. Now days my boys just want to shoot everyone dead…but you…you always like it physical and not one of them ever left without most of their bones broken” He leered, the grin turning into a full fledged smile as he recalled the gobs of money Shannon had brought in for him. “So tell me Shannon…” He emphasized the name. “To what do I owe this great honor?”

Shannon thought about running for about half a second before his anger got the best of him. “I want to hire one of your boys for a job…but no guns and I don’t want him dead” He clarified, waiting for the other man to respond.

“Why don’t you just do it yourself?” Spike asked, already knowing that Shannon’s huge profile was the reason, but enjoying the ribbing once again.

“You know why” Shannon ground out. “I’ll pay double of what you normally ask as long as you make sure that the fucker pays for what he’s done to my brother and you make sure that it’s never linked to me or anyone that I care for. I don’t want him dead…but I want him to suffer for the hurt that he’s caused”

“Might I ask who this person is before I send someone to destroy his life?”

“Marshall Crispin…”

“Marshall Crispin? The same Marshall Crispin that you beat the fuck out of years ago?” Spike asked, shocked at Shannon’s request.

“The one and the same” Shannon glowered across the table as he recalled many years prior when the same person had tried to destroy his brother’s life in the same manner. Everyone had always speculated that it had been Brent who had set up the hit and Shannon was thankful for that as he recalled how he had nearly killed the man for trying to hurt his baby brother. “He’s gone after Jared again and this time he’s not only hurt him…but the person that he loves as well”

“Yes…I saw the pictures. Such a pity that your brother never took a liking to me all those years back because I could have ensured that no one would ever hurt him…ever” The last word were hard and rough as he recalled the feelings he held for the singer after a brief introduction years prior. “He looks exactly the same as I remember him”

“Leave Jared alone Spike” Shannon warned. “Do we have a deal or not?”

“Was there every any doubt” Spike replied quickly, the almost maddening look Shannon was sharing with him scaring him to his very core. “Cash only”

“Yes…I remember how this works” Shannon cut him off as he opened up his wallet and pulled a wade of bills out. “How much?”

“You sure you don’t want him dead?” Spike asked, smiling again as he counted the money Shannon had just given him. “He won’t bother your brother again if he is”

“Not dead…but make sure that he fucking wishes that he was” He called out over his shoulder, already knowing that despite how much of a scumbag Spike was that the job would be done without question.

“Where have you been?” Tomo asked under his breath hours later after Shannon had returned to Tim’s apartment. “It’s been hours. I know you weren’t still at Tim’s girlfriends house because she called here hours ago apologizing for what she did. Jared’s been blowing up my phone looking for you. Are you ok? You look sick…what’s wrong?” Tomo was starting to panic at the look of pure upset that was masked across Shannon’s face.

“I have something to tell you but not right now” Shannon swallowed hard, suddenly feeling like he was going to vomit, not for what he had done, but at the thought of telling Tomo. “I love you Tomo” He whispered so Tim wouldn’t hear it.

“I love you too Shannon” Tomo smiled, hugging the man tightly within his arms, grateful that they were once again back together.

“Where’s Tim?” Shannon asked as he looked around the room and found it empty.

“He’s had a rough day” Tomo sighed, refusing to let go of Shannon at that moment in time. “He had a headache and went to bed”

“I guess there isn’t much more that we can do tonight” The drummer said, not realizing the time. “I should call Jared and let him know that I’m ok and then we have to talk”

“I know” Tomo sighed again wearily, pressing himself even closer to Shannon’s body, thankful for the warmth it brought. “Are you hungry?” He suddenly asked at the growling of Shannon’s stomach.

“A little bit” Shannon replied with a goofy grin when his stomach growled even louder “Ok…I’m fucking starving”

“I’ve already checked and there is nothing to eat here. How about I run to the grocery store on the corner and then throw something together?”

“You don’t have to do that”

“I know…I want to. I haven’t cooked for you in awhile. I actually missed it”

“I love it when you get all domestic” Shannon grinned, kissing his lover hungrily.

“Don’t fucking get used to it” Tomo teased, kissing him back because he knew that deep in his heart that there was nothing more that he wanted to do then be there for Shannon in every way possible. “Be back in a bit. Love you” He called out over his shoulder as he left the apartment.

“I’m really glad that the two of you are back together. He was miserable without you” Shannon heard Tim say from the hallway.

“I was the same without him” Shannon relied, feeling guilty once again for his hand in the break up of Tim and Jared’s relationship. “I’m really sorry for everything I did and said to you about your relationship with Jared” He repeated his earlier words. “I feel like such a fucking ass”

“It doesn’t matter anymore and as besides as much as I wanted to pound your face in…I know that you were only trying to protect Jared”

“Part of it was about protecting Jared…but most of it was about protecting me” Shannon admitted.

“I know…but I still understand it. What’s going to happen now with Tomo? Are you going to come out about the two of you to the public?”

“I’m still scared as fuck…but I can’t lose him again. I never thought that I would fall in love with anyone…much less someone who was right before my eyes for so long before I realized it. He’s means everything to me and if that means that I have to go public about my sexuality then that’s what I’m going to do”

“That’s great Shannon” Tim smiled, but Shannon could tell it was forced.

“Can I ask you something and please don’t get mad”

“Yes Shannon…I do love him” Tim answered the question without even having to be asked. “I’ve always had an attraction to Jared…but I never pursued it because I had a girlfriend and the fact of the matter was that he never showed much interest anyway. I can’t explain it…but that first night with Jared felt right. I know that we were drunk and it was a completely fucked up situation…but it felt as if it was meant to happen. I know you think that I’m this brave person when it comes to my sexuality…that I don’t care what people think…but it’s not true. I’ve always been interested in guys…but I never had any intentions of telling anyone…much less the public about it. The only person who even knew was my ex-girlfriend and that was only because he found me in bed with another man very early in our relationship. She freaked out at first…but then she learned to accept it and we moved on. With Jared…” Tim stopped because it was getting harder and harder to speak each word. “I just love him…end of story” He croaked, getting misty eyed once again.

“I love you too” They all heard Jared speak as he stood behind them with tears in his own eyes, a grinning Tomo behind him.

“What the hell Tomo?” Shannon questioned as he watched his brother walk over towards Tim.

“I was on my way to the grocery store and then I realized how fucking stupid this entire situation was. I called Jared and told him to get his ass down here pronto or I was going to make sure to that he regretted it the rest of his life” He grinned, feeling so happy as Shannon walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around his middle as they watched the scene playing out in front of them.

“Jared…” Tim whispered, closing his eyes and taking a breath because he knew it had to be a dream. He found it was anything but a dream as he found himself wrapped within arms he thought he would never feel again. “I’m so sorry” He sobbed, tears pouring down his face as he clung to the trembling man still holding him.

“I know…” Jared held him even tighter; his breath lost as Tim reversed the tables and pulled him tightly into his arms. “I’m sorry for being such an ass and thinking that you were capable of having anything to do with the article. I was just so shocked and so hurt that I blamed it on the one person who was there by my side without fail”

“It doesn’t matter. Can you ever forgive me for…” He couldn’t finish his sentence as the pain of his betrayal forced him to walk away from the man that he loved.

“Tim stop” Jared grabbed his hand, tugging him back before him. “I looked at the pictures again…really looked at them and Shannon was right. I could see that you weren’t into it and as disturbing as they were to look at…I get it. We both fucked up…but we’ve admitted that we love each other…about fucking time by the way” Jared smiled, wrapping his arms around Tim’s neck once again. “I love you Tim…all that other shit doesn’t matter. I want to give this a shot…if you do?”

Tim’s only answer was to kiss Jared so hard and with so much desire that it took both of their breaths away.

“Guess that’s a yes” Tomo said, smiling at the two. “Come on…let’s get out of here and leave them alone”

“Ok…but you better have some fucking food at your place because I am about to pass out from hunger” Shannon grumbled, but with a smile upon his face at what Tomo had done.

“My kitchen is loaded with food…but lets make sure to leave room for dessert” He grinned at his lover, kissing his quickly before heading for the door.

“Tomo…we still have a lot to talk about” Shannon replied softly, hating to break the playful moment, but wanting to make sure that they were able to talk and move past all the drama and shit from the past.

“I know we do…and we will. I don’t care what you have to tell me and I don’t care about the shit from the past because nothing will ever get in between the two of us again” He assured with a smile. “Come on…let’s leave them alone” He nodded towards the two other men in the room still locked tightly within their own world.

 

Epilogue…

“Are you sure that I look ok?” Jared asked Tim as he stood before the mirror located in their bedroom. “I don’t know…maybe I should put the other shirt on with these pants instead”

“Jared…baby…I love you…but if you try on anything else I am going to kill you” Tim giggled, wrapping his arms around his lover from behind. “I don’t know what the big deal is…you’ve never cared about interviews before”

“This isn’t just some random interview” Jared replied, fidgeting as he eyed the shirt he had been talking about through the mirror lying on the bed.

“No…you’re right…this one is important” Tim smiled, proud of his lover and the achievements that had garnered him the interview they were preparing for. “It’s not everyday that you are voted the most fascinating person of the year”

“There are other people on that list” Jared blushed, ducking out of Tim’s grasp and grabbing for the shirt.

“Yes…there are others…but you are at the top of the list…just where you should be” He grinned, grabbing the shirt and tossing it across the room before pulling Jared into his arms. “Don’t downplay this Jared…it’s important and it’s an honor. I’ve never been as proud of you as I am right now”

“This isn’t just about me you know” He blushed again. “This is about all of us. The only reason I made the list is because I’m the leader of this band. Everything we did we did as a team and…” He didn’t get a chance to finish his words because Tim found another reason to use his mouth instead.

“She’s here” They heard Tomo’s excited voice behind them. “I can’t believe that this is happening. It’s so fucking exciting. She shook my hand and actually had a conversation with me” He went on, his excitement contagious. “Do you think that it will be rude to ask for a picture and an autograph?” He asked, not waiting for an answer at the sound of his lover calling him from downstairs.

“It still amazes me how star struck he gets whenever he meets someone famous” Jared laughed nervously. “Promise you’ll be there beside me” He said, looking into Tim’s eyes for reassurance because no matter how much he tried to deny it, he was star struck as well.

“As always” Tim smiled, kissing him quickly before taking his hand and leading him downstairs towards their guest.

“Shall we begin?” The reporter asked after introductions had been made and everyone had been situated.

“Yes…” Jared smiled widely at her, trying like hell to control his nerves. He watched as she began talking into the camera for a moment before turning her attention back towards him and Tim.

“Good evening gentlemen” She began with a smile, her hands folded neatly within her lap as they sat in the living room of his and Tim’s home.

“Good evening Barbara…” The two men returned her greeting.

“It’s been a tumultuous couple of years for the two of you hasn’t it?”

“You could say that” Jared laughed lightly.

“You came out to the media and instead of bracing your homosexuality they used it against you in the form a very scathing article that was posted in not only one gay magazine…but several. How did this make you feel?”

Jared wanted to laugh at her question, but he held strong as he reached over and took Tim’s hand into his own. “I won’t lie to you and say that it didn’t hurt because that would be a lie. I was completely shocked when my brother showed me the article…but at the same time I couldn’t blame them for being suspicious because lets face it…I had taunted and teased them about my sexuality for years before hand”

“What about you Tim?” She turned her focus towards the other man in the room. “You were in a long term relationship with a woman before your relationship with Jared. How did that article make you feel?”

“It pissed me off…that’s how it made me feel” Tim blurted out, still angry over the pain and hurt that the articles had caused between him and Jared. “It shouldn’t have mattered if Jared had taunted them with his sexuality or not…the article was mean and hurtful and it caused a lot of damage to our relationship at the beginning. Thankfully we were able to overcome it” Taking a deep breath he felt a calmness settle of him with just one loving squeeze upon his hand. “I just wish that they would have spoken to Jared first before posting such horrible and slanderous lies. Yes…I was in a long term relationship with a woman before Jared and I got together…but they never even bothered to try and get to know me before they blasted it in print that us being together was a joke or a lie. It didn’t matter if I had been with a woman before or not because from the first moment that I met Jared…I knew that there was something between us”

“Really?” The reporter asked.

“I just didn’t know what it was” Tim smiled at them both, blushing a bit at how defensive he had gotten. “I tend to get a little defensive when it comes to him” He blushed some more, ducking his head some in order to hide it.

“I understand” She smiled warmly, putting Tim at ease once again.

“How were you able to work though the scandal that followed afterwards once the photos of you and former girlfriend were leaked?”

“Jared has a kind and forgiving heart” Tim replied automatically, winking at his lover with a smile upon his face.

“Those pictures were a set up by her and some scumbag photographer. He paid her money to get Tim drunk and get him into an uncompromising situation. The pictures have been since pulled from the internet…but anyone who saw them before hand could tell that Tim was drunk and clearly not into what they were trying to project”

“It’s very obvious that you two are protective of each other. How has your relationship changed since that happened?”

“I’d say that we have a normal relationship. We have good time and bad time. We fight and yell and scream from time to time like most couples do…but we always manage to work through it”

“Because you love each other?”

“Very much so” Jared smiled his thousand watt smile at the woman sitting across from him, before turning his attention towards his husband. “If I didn’t love him I sure as hell wouldn’t have gone through all the hell that we went through to marry him”

“It was hell huh?” Tim chuckled, leaning forward and nuzzling Jared’s neck, completely forgetting about the interviewer in front of them.

“Torturous hell” Jared giggled, arching his neck as Tim took a playful nip at it. “Sorry….” He blushed at the clearing of a throat. “Tim and I have been together for two years and I haven’t ever been happier in my life and sometimes I just forget myself”

“Let’s talk about your fight with the government to pass a law for same sex marriages” She went on undeterred.

“The former laws were ridiculous. First same sex marriages are banned…then they are approved and then banned again…it was just so ridicules. Jared repeated, raising his voice just a bit at the anger over coming him. “Any form of discrimination is unacceptable and I was raised that when something is unacceptable you fight to make a change. I’ve been doing that my whole life…but nothing was more important then fighting for the right to share my life with the man that I love legally”

“Well you were definitely instrumental in the legalization of same sex marriages…even going so far as to get arrested three times” The reporter laughed quietly.

“Well it wasn’t the first time that I saw the inside of a jail cell and it probably won’t be the last” Jared laughed with her, blushing a bit more. “I was arrested for standing up for what I believe in and for that I won’t ever be sorry that it happened. I wasn’t robbing banks or breaking into other peoples houses…I was marching and protesting for the freedom to marry whom ever I want”

“You’re about to get a nose bleed from standing so high up on your soapbox” They all heard Shannon holler from across the room.

“Asshole…” Jared laughed right along with the entire room.

“Would you two care to join us?” The reporter asked, indicating towards the empty spaces on the other end of the couch where Jared and Tim were sitting. “You both were instrumental in this fight as well” She continued when Tomo and Shannon took their seats.

“Of course…” They announced together, blushing and laughing once they had.

“Everyone should have equal rights and no one…not even the government should be able to take that away from anyone” Shannon spoke up.

“Looks like you’ve got a soap box of your own” Jared snorted, reaching across Tim and shoving his brother in the shoulder.

“Well we are brothers…taught you everything that I know” Shannon chuckled, becoming serious as he reached over and took Tomo’s hand into his. “But the reason that I fought so hard for it was because one day I’d like to be able to marry that man that I love” He watched as Tomo’s eyes got as huge as saucers as he looked from Shannon’s face to their intertwined hands and back again. “We’ve been together for a long time baby…what do you say?”

“Are…are you asking me to marry you?” Tomo rushed out, his breath catching in his throat as he watched his lover get down on one knee, reach into his pocket and pull out a ring”

“I’ve been carrying it around with me for months now trying to find the perfect way to ask you…and today…right now just seems to be the perfect time. I love you Tomo. I’ve loved you for years and it’s time that I make an honest man of you. So…what do you say…will you marry me” He was on his back before he knew what was happening, vice like arms around his neck and hungry lips upon his own.

“I guess that is a yes. Would you believe me if I told you that was totally unplanned?” Jared asked, tears in his own eyes as he watched Shannon place the ring on Tomo’s finger.

“I believe you?” She teased, dabbing at her own tearful eyes. “So I take it the answer is yes?” She asked, as the two of them untangled themselves from the floor and moved back onto the couch.

“Without a doubt yes” Tomo sniffled, clinging onto Shannon’s hand as he stared at the silver band upon his finger. “I can’t believe that you did this?” He turned his attention back towards Shannon.

“It was time baby…it was time” Shannon replied, leaning forward and kissing Tomo tenderly, feeling horrible that it had taken so long for him to get over his fears and put the one that meant the most to him ahead of everything else in the world.

“Jared…I think that you are more shocked then Tomo is” She said, smiling widely at the handsome man.

“I guess that I am” Jared beamed back, punching his brother in the shoulder once again. “It’s about time man. Congratulations”

“Yes…congratulations to the two of you” She concurred. “So…what’s next for the four of you?” She asked.

“Starting a family for one” Tim shot out, squeezing Jared’s hand as they shared a loving look.

“Setting a wedding date” Tomo jumped in, smiling so wide that he knew he had to be glowing.

“Working on the forth album” Jared piped in.

“Shannon…anything?”

“Well…” He drawled back a bit, trying to keep the smile off of his face. “I haven’t told anyone this but I just got the called this morning so…”

“What man…what?” Jared rushed out, sitting forward in his seat because he had no clue what Shannon could be talking about.

“I’ve been working on a screenplay and I had sent it in to a producer a long time ago and hadn’t heard anything back. I just figured that it was crap and moved on…but I got a call today and they loved it and they are going to make it into a movie” He found that he couldn’t contain himself anymore as he hugged Tomo tightly. “I wont say how much they are going to pay me…but lets just say that its enough to move out of here and buy our own place…maybe even start our own family” Tenderly he brushed a tear from Tomo’s check, kissing him softly once he had. “I love you baby”

“Oh Jesus…I love you too”

The reporter knew that interview was over and the four men seemed to have forgotten that she was in the room as they huddled together laughing and hugging each other. “I think that this is a rap” She said to the crew around her, watching for a moment more, unable to stop the smile from spreading across her face at the amount of love and happiness each man had on their face.

The End…


End file.
